There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
birth control should be required to get into college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
