sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
