I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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