So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
