I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
