He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
