I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
