But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
