Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
