She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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