That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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