She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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