That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
