I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
