Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
