I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I didn't notice because vodka
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
try to milk me bitch
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