I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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