i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
