There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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