it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
