It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
