I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
