Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
