we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize