The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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