omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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