He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
