i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
