im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He better not be in your backpack
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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