If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
