But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
