make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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