There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you traded sex for a burrito?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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