I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
