I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
