Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
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I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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