I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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