dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize