I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
