just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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