Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
