She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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