just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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