I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
