none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
