Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
