i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
