tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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