I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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