he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
did i just pee glitter
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
