I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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