i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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