this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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