I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
