good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Come on in and take your pants off
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