Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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