We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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