I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
