The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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