I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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