i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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